█▓▒░(°TaNoLi°)░▒▓█ Friday Nasiha: * Marriage * According to Qur'an and Sunnah

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Assalam'o'alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi  Wa Barakatuhu 

mohammedhussainquraishi

 

Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barkatuh! * Marriage * According to Qur'an and Sunnah And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn" Those will be rewarded with the highest place (in Paradise) because of their patience. Therein they shall be met with greetings and the word of peace and respect. (Qur'an 25:74-75) The order to Marry Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, No. 1, Narrated Anas bin Malik A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet asking how the Prophet worshipped (Allah), and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet as his past and future sins have been forgiven." Then one of them said, "I will offer the prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, "I will fast throughout the year and will not break my fast." The third said, "I will keep away from the women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so-and-so? By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and more afraid of Him than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I do sleep and I also marry women. So he who does not follow my tradition in religion, is not from me (not one of my followers)." Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Al-Mahr (The Dowry) The Noble Qur'an 4:4 And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm. The Limit of What can be seen of the Woman Whom One Seeks to Marry Sheikh Ibn Baz, May Allah have Mercy on him Question: If a young man proposes marriage to a young lady is it obligatory that he sees her? Also, is it correct that the young lady uncover her head to show more of her beauty to her proposing fiance? Please benefit us and may Allaah benefit you. Answer: There is no harm (in the man seeing her), however it is not obligatory. Rather, it is recommended that he sees her and she sees him, because the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) commanded the one who proposed marriage to look at the woman. This is because that is better for causing agreement and harmony between them. So if she uncovers her face for him, and her hands and her head, there is no harm in that according to the correct opinion. Some of the people of knowledge have said that it is sufficient for her to uncover the face and the two hands. However, the correct opinion is that there is no harm in him seeing her head, face, hands and feet, based upon the mentioned hadeeth (above). However, this is not permissible with him being alone with her. Rather, her father, or brother, or someone else must be with them. This is because the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, "A man must never be alone with a woman unless there is someone who is a Mahram with them." (Agreed upon in Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim.) He (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) also said, "A man must never be alone with a woman, for verily the Satan is their third." (At-Tirmithee and Ahmad) Source: Sheikh ibn Baz, Al-Fataawaa ash-Shar'iyyah fil-Masaa'il il-'Asriyyah min Fataawaa 'Ulamaa' il-Balad il-Haraam, pp. 498-499. Translated by Aqeel Walker Rights over one another Hadith - Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 50, Number 882. Narrated Uqba bin Amir Allah's Apostle said, "From among all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which make it legal for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest right to be fulfilled." The following examples of behavior of a husband are haram (prohibited) and can lead to disobedience (to Allah) in the wife. Al-Bahuti al-Hanbali, Kishaaf al-Qinaa' an Matn al-Iqnaa', vol. 5, pp. 184, 290, 213; Ibn Abideen, Radd al-Mukhtar ala al-Darr al-Mukhtar wa Hashiyah, vol. 3, p. 190; Tafseer al-Manaar, vol. 5, p. 76. "He [the husband] may cause his wife different forms of harm, such as cursing her or her family, reviling her, verbally abusing her for the tiniest of reasons. He may insult her because of her family, if it is less prestigious or honorable than his. Or he may try to bring harm to her by divorcing her and then, before the waiting period is finished, bring her back as his wife and then divorce her again. All this is done without the intention of returning to a real married life but simply to harm her and transgress her rights. Or he may avoid having sexual intercourse with her for no reason or legal sanction. This may lead the woman to lose her chastity and doing something forbidden." The Noble Qur'an Al-Baqarah 2:228 ...And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allâh is All-Mighty, All-Wise. Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi, Narrated Amr ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami The Prophet said, "...Listen! You have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and clothing." Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 3.189, Narrated Abu Juhaifa Salman told Abu Ad-Darda', "Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you." Abu Ad-Darda' came to the Prophet and narrated the whole story. The Prophet said, "Salman has spoken the truth." Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 3.501, Narrated Abu Huraira ...The Prophet said, "The best amongst you is the one who pays the rights of others generously." Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #276, Narrated Amr ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami Amr heard the Prophet say in his farewell address on the eve of his Last Pilgrimage, after he had glorified and praised Allah, he cautioned his followers: 'Listen! Treat women kindly; they are like prisoners in your hands. Beyond this you do not owe anything from them. Should they be guilty of flagrant misbehaviour, you may remove them from your beds, and beat them but do not inflict upon them any severe punishment. Then if they obey you, do not have recourse to anything else against them. Listen! You have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and clothing.' [Transmitted by Tirmidhi] The Noble Qur'an 5:1 O you who believe! Fulfill (your) obligations. ... Words of Advice to the Husband and the Wife by: Sheikh al Albaani The husband and wife need to be compliant, cooperative and conciliatory toward one another, and to advise each other and urge each other toward obedience to Allah subhana wa ta'ala, following all of His ruling which have been clearly established in the Qur'an and the Sunnah. These must never be superceded by blind following of any religious or other figures, or any custom or school of thought which has predominated among the people. Allah aza wa jal says "It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allâh and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allâh and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error. " [al ahzab:33-36] Each of them should fully carry out the duties and responsibilities with which Allah has obligated them toward the other...thus, the wife should not try to have all of the same rights as her husband, and the husband must never exploit the role of leadership and authority to which he has been assigned in the marriage relationship to oppress her, strike her or to be otherwise unfair to her. Allah says: "And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree of advantage over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise. [al baqarah:228] Allah also says, "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill­conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great. " [an-nisaa:34] Mu'awiya ibn Haida radi Allahu anhu said "O rasulullah, what rights do our wives have over us?" Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa sallam said "That you should feed them as you feed yourselves, clothe them as you clothe yourselves, never invoke ugliness upon them, (referring to the custom of the Arabs when they are angry they say 'May Allah make your face ugly) never strike them in the face, and in boycotting the marital bed, do not go outside of the house to sleep. How (could you do any of these things) after you have entered into one another, so do only that which is allowed with regard to her (for valid reasons). [ahmed/sahih] In another hadith rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said "The doers of justice will be on thrones of light at Allah's right Hand and both of Allah's hands are right hands- whose who were just in their ruling, with their families and in all that over which there were given authority." [Muslim] When they both know and practice this, Allah subhana wa ta'ala grants them a good life and they will live for as long as they remain together- in the bliss of happiness. Allah says, "Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions." [an nahl:97] A Pious Poor Man is a Better Marriage Suitor than a Rich Man Who is Not Pious Hadith - Bukhari 7.28, Narrated Sahl A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah's Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if he speaks, he should be listened to." Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them) "What do you say about this man?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should not be listened to." Allah's Apostle (saaws) said, "This poor man is better than so many of the first as filling the earth." Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu Hurairah, r.a. Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.' [Tirmidhi, Nasa'i and Ibn Majah transmitted it.] Action Items for the uttaqun: Single Muslims should have intentions to marry as soon as Islamically permissible and a suitable candidate for marriage is available. For a female, it is permissible to marry at any time near puberty. For a man, he is ordered to marry after puberty once he has established a means to support a family. It is recommended (in order to avoid being jailed) to not marry until old enough according to the laws in the land they live, but it is Islamically permissible before that.  Neither should refuse marriage to a suitable Muslim marriage candidate. A woman is permitted (if she so chooses) to marry a poor man of good character, but she must not marry a non-Muslim. A muslim man may only marry a Muslim or non-polytheist christian or Jew who is chaste. A mahr/dowry (gift from the man to the new wife) should be agreed upon before the actual marriage. The dowry can be anything halal that they agree upon and it is obligatory that she is given a dowry. It is recommended that the dowry is something appropriate to his income level and ability to give. Although jewelry is permissible to be given as the dower or part of the dower, it should not be an imitation of christian traditions, such as a diamond ring worn on the left third finger and given as part of the marriage ceremony.   A marriage should be witnessed by at least two men, or four women, or one man and two women. Give your spouse his/her rights. If your rights are not being given to you, ASK ALLAH for these rights. The Prophet (sallallahu aleihi wa sallam) said, "Soon others will be preferred to you, and there will be things which you will not like." The companions of the Prophet asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What do you order us to do (in this case)?" He said, "(I order you) to give the rights that are on you and to ask your rights from Allah." [Sahih Al-Bukhari 4.800, Narrated Ibn Masud] The rights of a husband include: Halal marital relations to the degree that they are able That the wife will guard in the husband's absence what Allah has ordered her to guard (i.e. her chastity, his property, secrets in the bed between the two) That she would not fast while in his presence, without his permission. If it is an obligatory fast, he still has rights to deny it if he has a valid reason, such as believing that the fast would be a severe risk to her health, and he must allow the obligatory fast of Ramadan if there is no valid reason to forbid it. As to when she is to make up the Ramadan fast days that she did not make due to her menstrual, he must cooperate with her desires to make it up promptly, but he still can deny that the fast be done at certain times as he decides what he believes is best for her and for the marriage overall. For non-obligated fasts, he should encourage the piety of fasting in general, but he is not obligated to permit each request to fast if they will be in each other's presence during the fast. To move the wife, have her travel with him, or to have up to four wives unless previously stipulated before marriage That she will not spend his money against his halal orders That she will not permit anyone to enter his house except with his permission If seeing ill behavior from the wife, he has the right to first admonish her, then after that he may refuse to share the bed, then he may beat her lightly (in a way that does not leave marks or damage the body, as this is for a reminder to the call of Islam, not a punishment to inflict any physical harm). If at any time, she returns to obedience to Allah, swt, he should stop any means of annoyance upon her. The rights of a wife include: To have a muslim husband whose general aqeedah (beliefs/creed) and minhaj (methodology) is Qur'an and Sunnah Halal marital relations to the degree that they are able To refuse to move, travel, or be a co-wife if previously stipulated before marriage To be clothed and fed as well as the husband, from his means. Also that her dependent children are so clothed and fed by her new husband where the provisions of the biological father fall short (such as a deceased or deadbeat biological father), unless stipulated otherwise prior to marriage. But then of course they would have to stipulate how they intend to provide for the kids and what they will do if the situation changes (such as the biological father dies).  The biological father is obligated first and foremost to provide for them within his means, but the new husband is also responsible for the protection and maintenance of those within his care. The husband is responsible for maintaining the wife. If the wife has children from a previous marriage, providing for her children is a need she has. The new husband's job includes maintaining this aspect of the wife's needs. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. ... (Qur'an 4:34) The best of what you consume is that which you have earned. And your children are part of what you have earned. [al-Tirmidhi and al-Nasai. Al-Albani has graded it sahih. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami, vol. 1, p. 326.].   And give to the kindred his due and to the Miskîn (poor) and to the wayfarer. But spend not wastefully (your wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift . [Qur'an 17:26] ...That you should feed them as you feed yourselves, clothe them as you clothe yourselves [Ahmed/sahih] And the man is responsible for his household and will be asked about his responsibility [Bukhari] Hind (bint 'Utba) said to the Prophet, "Abu Sufyan is a miserly man and I need to take some money of his wealth." The Prophet (saaws) said, "Take reasonably what is sufficient for you and your children." [Bukhari 9.291, Narrated 'Aisha] The Prophet (saaws) said, "You will not find me to be miserly, cowardly, or a liar." [Muwatta 21.22] Allah's Messenger (saaws) said, "The generous man is near Allah, near Paradise, near men and far from Hell, but the miserly man is far from Allah, far from Paradise, far from men and near Hell. Indeed, an ignorant man who is generous is dearer to Allah than a worshipper who is miserly." [Tirmidhi 1869, Narrated Abu Huraira] Remember... Allah, Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, Knows everything we do! Source: WWW.MUTTAQUN.COM q Share this POST with maximum number of people you can. Guiding one soul to knowledge and faith is a momentous achievement. It is what will earn us great blessings. (Insha Allah) Jazak Allahu khairan ! With kind & humble regards, Umm Safoora q Our Lord! grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter, and save us from the chastisement of the fire

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    ((( Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem )))

~ Let there be a community among you who call to the good, and enjoin the right, and forbid the wrong. They are the ones who have success.(Qur'an, 3:104)

~ They believe in Allah and the Last Day, and enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and compete in doing good. They are among the righteous.(Qur'an, 3:114)

~ If you avoid the serious wrong actions you have been forbidden, We will erase your bad actions from you and admit you by a Gate of Honour.(Qur'an, 4:31)

~ Help one another in birr (righteousness, virtue), and taqwa (piety, fear of Allah, God-consciousness), and do not help one another in sinning and transgression. And fear and revere Allah; verily, Allah is severe in punishment.(Qur'an, 5:2)

~ You who believe! Have fear of Allah and seek the means of drawing near to Him and strive in His way,so that hopefully you'll be successful. (Qur'an, 5:35)

~ Ask your Lord for forgiveness and then repent to Him. He will let you enjoy a good life until a specified time, and will give His favour to all who merit it. But if you turn your backs, I fear for you the punishment of a Mighty Day.(Qur'an, 11:3)

~ Strive for Allah with the striving due to Him. He has selected you and not placed any constraint upon you in the religion-the religion of your forefather Ibrahim. He named you Muslims before and also in this, so that the Messenger could be witness against you and you could be witnesses against all mankind. So perform prayer and give alms and hold fast to Allah. He is your Protector-the Best Protector, the Best Helper. (Qur'an, 22:78)

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